Who Takes Care of Your Kids If Something Happens to You?

For parents of young children, estate planning is far less about money. It’s primarily about the kids. The biggest question for parents is: Who would raise your child if you weren’t here to do it?

That question (and the answer) is why guardianship planning is often the single most important part of an estate plan for families with minor children. I’ll walk through the basic questions that I usually see in this context.

What is a guardian?

A guardian is the person you choose to step into your role as a parent if your child loses both parents (or if the surviving parent is unable to care for the child).

A guardian is responsible for:

1. day-to-day care

2. housing, food, school, and activities

3. medical decisions

4. providing stability and continuity during a very difficult time

This is a big responsibility, which is why choosing the right person matters so much. In essence, the guardian becomes the new parent. What could be more important than that?

Why naming a guardian matters

If you do not name a guardian in your estate plan, the decision doesn’t disappear, you just don’t get to make it. You leave it to a judge.

In that situation:

1. family members may disagree about who should step in (and this is fairly common)

2. multiple people may petition the court slowing down the process

3. ultimately, a judge who does not know your family must make the final decision

Judges generally try to do what’s best for the child, but they start with limited information. When parents have clearly named a guardian in a will, courts almost always follow that choice.

In short: naming a guardian keeps the decision in your hands, not the court’s.

Who should you choose as a guardian?

There’s no perfect answer, but most parents consider:

1. shared values and parenting philosophy

2. emotional bond with the child

3. stability (health, lifestyle, availability)

4. geographic location

5. willingness to take on the role

Most parents also name:

• a first choice guardian

• one or two alternates, in case circumstances change

This flexibility is important, especially for young families where life evolves quickly.

Why guardians are named in a will

This is one of the most common questions: “Why is the guardian named in the will?”

Because under Oregon law (and in most states), the will is the document that gives the court legal authority to appoint a guardian.

A trust is excellent for managing money, but it does not appoint guardians. The will does.

Even families with a revocable living trust still need a will specifically to: nominate guardians for minor children and give the court clear instructions

What actually happens if a guardian is needed?

Another common concern is whether naming a guardian means something happens automatically. It doesn’t.

Here’s how it typically works:

1. A triggering event occurs (Both parents pass away or are legally unable to care for the child)

2. A court process still happens but it’s usually straightforward. The nominated guardian petitions the court to be formally appointed.

3. The judge reviews the will and will consider: the guardian named in the will; whether the appointment is still appropriate; and whether the guardian is willing and able to serve

The court then makes the official appointment. This step is required so the guardian has legal authority to: enroll the child in school; consent to medical care; and interact with institutions on the child’s behalf (basically, so the guardian can step in and do the things a parent would).

In most cases, when parents have clearly named a guardian, this process is administrative rather than adversarial. The key here is to be in control of the process by naming a guardian and not leaving anything to chance.

Does the will have to be probated?

Yes — but this often sounds scarier than it is.

In this context, probate is just the legal process that allows the court to recognize the will. For guardianship purposes, probate is often limited in scope and timing.

The goal is not to “control” the family, but to formally establish legal authority.

Having a well-drafted estate plan generally reduces cost, delay, and conflict, even though a court process still exists.

Guardianship and money are separate issues

Another important point: the person raising your child does not have to be the person managing the money.

Many estate plans: name a guardian to care for the child and separately name a trustee to manage financial assets. Depending on the situation, it may make sense to separate these two roles. In close families where everything is aligned, it’s nice to combine the roles, in my opinion.

The big takeaway

Estate planning for parents of young children is not about predicting the worst — it’s about protecting your child if the unexpected happens.

Naming a guardian:

• gives clear guidance during a crisis

• avoids family conflict

• provides stability for your child

• ensures a judge knows your wishes

For many families, it’s the most loving and important decision they put into writing.